Levi's next MRI in July

Levi's next MRI is July 12th. Breathe deeply. His two year cancer free day is June 16th. :) I don't feel as anxious and nervous as I did for his first year one. I guess as time goes by and the less time we spend at doctors and specialists it gets easier to let go of the fear. At least for a time. That first year it was very consuming. It was hard to not get swallowed in it. One couldn't help but constantly be reminded of the horror of it all. It's plain to see that there is something different about Levi. His head is misshapen and when his hair is short the scar just glares at you.



See, was getting sucked into the living nightmare again. We use to pray that IF he lived please let it be a pain free and "normal" life. We didn't pray for him to just live. Do you know how hard it is to say "If he lives but is a vegetable please just take him. Don't let him live life without knowing he's even alive. Don't let him live just to go through daily pain. Let him enjoy life. Let him have what everybody else takes for granted." And God answered those prayers. Of course, we had to go down paths that we never would have taken in life otherwise for those prayers to be answered. Our souls needed us to to experience the pain, the heartache, the immense love and unselfishness for our children, the wonder, the lostness, the strength, the support and love from others, the fear, elatement, comfort in others and ourselves. The letting go, giving in, accepting help. We needed to experience the miracle. All that and so much more. Our souls needs us to experience all these things to fulfill our spiritual needs.



I just hope that it was enough that I won't be coming back to experience it even more. When I go Home I want to stay Home.